I have been so stressed lately. Nothing in my life is seeming to go right these days. My am getting sicker and sicker and can't stop it. I feel like my life is a constant downward spiral. And just when I think it can't get any worse *BAM* it does. I can't do my school work, I have no social life, I feel horrible all the time, and at the young age of 18 have had more surgeries and procedures done than most people will have in their entire lives.
So many things are going wrong. My brain isn't working right, my eyesight has gone to shit, I get dizzy, I pass out, I can't drive anymore, I need someone to help with all of my school work (basically telling me what to write), I don't have any friends, my memory is crap and I can't remember anything anymore. Hense me forgetting all about Xanga's existanse. Seriosly, I've been forgetting people's names who I've known for years and can't retain any new knowlege at all. I will post with more details about what is going on later.

Seriously, what is wrong with me? Last night after going to Micheal's craft store I pulled into the driveway preparing to grab my bag and make a run for it because it was raining pretty hard. But as soon as I step out of the car, before I can even grab my purse, I fall to the ground. Apparently I had a seizure. I had blacked out three times within the twenty or thirty minutes I was in Micheal's. I guess I should have seen that something was seriously wrong but I black out every now and then and it has never been that big a deal before. But this time it was.

Let me just say that I have never had a seizure before and it was a really scary experience. I don't remember the seizure itself, just right before and right after.  I remember waking up on the ground next to my car, hearing someone screaming but not seeing anyone. I was soaking wet from the rain and my head was pounding pretty intensely from banging it on the hard concrete driveway.. I tried to sit up but was feeling pretty shaky and dizzy. I barly regisered my mother running inside to get my sister. They helped me up and into the house. While walking I noticed that durring my fall to the pavement I sprained my ankle and was distantly glad not to have broken it again.

I was really confused because I didn't really know what had happened. Just that one minute I was getting out of the car and the next I was 'waking up' on the wet ground. My mother later told me that I had a seziure. Apparently I was shaking and my eyes had rolled back in my head.

I guess the pain from my constant headaches has just gotten to be too much for my body to handle. I have had a really bad and intense migrain for the last week or so and was just starting to feel a little better when this happened. Now I feel really bad again. I am shaky, my heart is beating irratically, and it is kind of hard to breathe. My eyes hurt really bad as well. I really dont understand why this is happening to me.

My life is God's own personal joke. The only problem is I dont find it very funny.